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PostPosted: Thu Jun 04, 2020 8:41 pm 
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Joined: Wed Oct 30, 2002 1:09 pm
Posts: 523
Location: South Carolina
For generations true Americans have tried to rid their land of Yankees. It has proven to be a difficult task. During the time of the bubonic plague the cure was simply to take away things that made rats feel at home. When they did this the rats left and the plague went away. Getting rid of northerners works the same way. Just make them a little uncomfortable and one by one they will go home.
Frequently bring up “The War of Northern Aggression” in conversation. If a northerner says “Civil War” just look confused. Also, remember that we won that war.
Just exist. The very existence of other people seems to annoy them.
Put a Confederate Flag either in your yard, or on your truck.
Refer to Jefferson Davis as “Former President Jefferson Davis”.
Refer to EVERY soft drink as a Coke. If they ask for a soda pretend you don’t know what that is. Then say, “Oh you mean a Coke”.
When a Yankee starts to talk about how they miss the North, offer to buy them a one way ticket back.
Speak VERY slowly. Also, ask them to speak slowly so you can understand them. If they mispronounce a word ask them to spell it and then offer a correction. They really appreciate it.
Take your time. If you see one behind you in traffic just go the speed limit and wait for the horn and finger.
If you are up north, always make sure to ask for Grits. They won’t know what you mean. Then make a big deal out of it.
Talk loudly about NASCAR, truck pulls and SEC football.
Have them call you by your first AND middle name. Example – Bobby Ray, Amy Jo, Lisa Ann.
Address them as “Yes Sir”, “No Sir” or “Yes Maam”, “No Maam”. I am not sure why but they hate that.
When visiting the north, talk often about how mild the winters are where you live.
Name all your kids Bubba or Buddy. Also, if you don’t know a yankees name just call him Buddy.
Bad mouth hockey.
Use terms like “Out Yonder”, “Ain’t”, “Fetch”, and “Fixin to”.
Tell them that you like their accent and the you wish you had one.
When they curse and are rude (which will happen), ask them what is really bothering them and offer to talk to them about. The more sympathy you use the madder they will get.
Play “Sweet Home Alabama” loud and often.
Take them to see the movie “Deliverance” and then offer to take them camping.
If all else fails just call them a Yankee. Never fails.

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General Tim Miller
1st (Palmetto Ghost Riders) Cavalry Brigade
4th Division
I Corp
Army of Tennessee


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2020 6:51 am 
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Joined: Sat Apr 27, 2013 3:29 pm
Posts: 297
Tim,

Those are all great suggestions but you always finish with "Y'all come back now ya'hear!" Just when we feel we can leave and head back North you keep inviting us back so we feel obligated to return and stay with you. It's a vicious cycle.

Once you learn to stop inviting us back, I'm sure things will settle down. :P

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MG. Derek Hampel
Cmdr. Second Div., XV Corps
Army of the Tennessee


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PostPosted: Fri Jun 05, 2020 12:39 pm 
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Joined: Wed Feb 26, 2020 6:44 pm
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Location: Top Secret
I lived in Louisiana in my youth and had a great time. I met many a good southern man and woman in those days and we had a great time. Very hospitable folks. I watched a John Wayne movie once called "The Horse Soldiers", where I believe he played a resemblance of Col. Benjamin Grierson, who I believe had a pretty good time, enjoying the hospitality of the South. But of all the folks I have heard of, I think it was Maj. Gen. William Tecumseh Sherman who had the best time in the south. He was welcomed with open arms and was given the keys to the cities down there. He enjoyed the hospitality so much that he presented neckties along his circuitous route around those fine southern towns. It was even said the locals were always presenting, him all there food including fine hams, beef cattle and chickens with all the fixins. They even allowed his boys to have bonfire parties and didn't call the local magistrate. All them fine southern gentlemen didn't even ask for any form of payment. Like I said "Very Hospitable Folks". My hats off to all you fine southern boys. I think "Uncle Billy" liked it so much down there that before going back home, he visited North and South Carolina to spread the word about that fine southern hospitality. It's no wonder us Americans want to come and visit the southern regions of our country. My Oh My did I have a good time in my youth!

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Maj. Gen., L. D. Drummond,
Commanding, III Division, XVI Corps
Army of the Tennessee, U.S. Army


"We can make war so terrible and make them so sick of war that generations pass away before they again appeal to it."
William Tecumseh Sherman


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