American Civil War Game Club (ACWGC)

A man in North Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait.
A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

_________________
Walter A. Dortch
Commanding -/4/V AotP
UA Cabinet Secretary
UA Operations Officer
UA Wolverine Team Leader

Fighting for his "rats" to put "flares" where he darn well pleases!!!!

_________________
Colonel Jason "Skeedaddle" Campbell
The Mahoning 4th Brigade
3rd Division
2nd Corp
AoT
"Let's fill up our canteens, boys. Some of us will be in hell before nightfall and we'll need the water"

Hmmmph. Sounds more like SOUTH Carolina to me.

_________________
Lt. Gen. Steve Sober, ACWGC
UA Cabinet Secretary
1/4/V AotP

Meanwhile in Georgia....

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

_________________
Walter A. Dortch
Commanding -/4/V AotP
UA Cabinet Secretary
UA Operations Officer
UA Wolverine Team Leader

That reminds me of the time General Cam McOmish rode into camp driving a brand-new fancy buggy. We asked where he got it from and he shared this story:

"I was at a ball, hosted by none other than President Ernie Sands. Between dances, an absolutely drop-dead gorgeous Southern Belle walked up and introduced herself to me. After some small talk, she invited me to go for a drive with her in her new buggy. Being the Southern gentleman that I am, I could not turn her down. We got into her buggy and she started driving. She drove away from the ball, out into the country. We came to the end of the pike, then turned onto a dirt road, then turned off that onto a small lane, the turned off that into the forest, following a small path barely wide enough for the buggy. Finally, we came to a lovely clearing. She stopped the buggy and got off. Then, she removed all her clothing, smiled at me, and said, 'Take what you want, General!' So I took the buggy."

After hearing the story, General Ludwig chimed in: "You made an excellent choice, General McOmish. Her clothes never would have fit you!"

_________________
General 'Dee Dubya' Mallory
Chief of the Armies, CSA

*takes a long drink from liquor bottle*
General Mallory has never heard about his Montgomery concert in '60. Wore that for a week!
*takes another long pull from the bottle*

_________________
Colonel Jason "Skeedaddle" Campbell
The Mahoning 4th Brigade
3rd Division
2nd Corp
AoT
"Let's fill up our canteens, boys. Some of us will be in hell before nightfall and we'll need the water"

Meanwhile in Texas....

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch.

The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."

"Yep", he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."

_________________
Walter A. Dortch
Commanding -/4/V AotP
UA Cabinet Secretary
UA Operations Officer
UA Wolverine Team Leader

Meanwhile in Alabama...
A friend decided to pay a visit on another of his friends he had not seen in a year. Arriving at the friends house, he found out that his friend had not only indeed married...but also had added a baby to his family!
The child crawled around and the friend noticed that the diaper was dragging the ground. He called his friends attention to it and, glancing at the drooping diaper, the good old boy from Alabama said, "Na, it's alright, buddy. I read the box and it said 'up to two pounds'.

_________________
Colonel Jason "Skeedaddle" Campbell
The Mahoning 4th Brigade
3rd Division
2nd Corp
AoT
"Let's fill up our canteens, boys. Some of us will be in hell before nightfall and we'll need the water"