*walks in holding a fine looking banjo, shell jacket without sleeves, and a slouch hat with an elaborate peacock feather in it*
Hi ya, fellers! Gentlemen! <Salute>
Sorry I'm a tad late. I was tuning my banjo. Could have roped a heffer with the slack in that E string!
My my my...what a line up tonight! The Ned Simms Quartet???? Shoot dang, son, I haven't sent them since the spring of '59 in Mobile! That guy is a literal wizard on the accordion!!!!! What a night that was! Didn't try to crowd surf that night. I was afraid someone would drop me in the mosh pit!!!!
I won't believe Miller will be here till I see him for myself. 
Thanks for allowing me to accompany you and the Boozy Mountain Boys on your new hit single, "Belles, Belles, Belles". We do that in drop D, don't we????
Remember, gents, the Dump Of Trees has those new non flammable bean bag chairs and old man Mullins was a little ticked off after we ripped them open outside and his chickens ate all the insides of the chairs. He had pop corn chicken for a week!!!!!
Don't forget, folks! There will be Boozy Mountain Boys merchandise available including, autographed
bodices for your lady friends, a new shipment of soybean banjo picks that just came in, and Cam's own personal brand of chewing 'tabacca...Grey Man.
My...the candles and torches give off such a blinding light from the disco ball, don't they?
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Where in the hell is my drinking buddy and part time manager Colonel Jason "Cannon Fodder" Campbell ?