American Civil War Game Club (ACWGC)

Gentlemen...I have taken leave for the evening from the field of battle to share a drink and hopefully someone can spot me some of that good Southern tobacco!

* uncorks a bottle of Old Crow and takes a large swig *

Rumor has it that, at his last battle, as General Lynn Newell, commander of the Lincolnite Army of the Tennessee, was passing a hill still occupied our noble boys, he heard one of them yell out, "No blue belly can whip any Rebel!"

Angry, General Newell ordered his best infantry man to take that hill. The infantry man charges the hill and soon vanishes from sight behind it. Gunfire erupts, then silence.

* takes another long swig from the bottle *

The Southern voice yells back, "No 10 blue bellies alive can whoop any Rebel!" Furious, General Newell orders his best 10 man squad out to take the hill. With a yell, the 10 man group charges the hill, vanishes from sight behind it and a vicious firefight erupts followed by another long silence.

The Southern voice calls out, "No 100 blue bellies can whoop any Rebel soldier!" Not taking any chances this time, General Newell orders a whole division to take the hill. Fighting occurs which lasts several hours but then again a long silence which was broken by the same Southern voice, "The whole Union army can't whip one Rebel solider!"

* throws back what remains in the bottle in a few short gulps *

Now here's where it gets good, gents. Frustrated beyond measure, General Newell finally orders a scout to find out just who or what is on the other side of that hill! The scout leaves on his mission...and returns on the run, breathless, with the seat of his britches shot off!

"RUN FOR YOUR LIFE, GENERAL NEWELL, SIR!!!!! IT'S A TRAP!!!!! THERE ARE TWO OF THEM!!!!!"

* gives a good hearty, laugh and places some gold on the bar *

The night would be complete if General McOmish would break out his five string and play us some of that Black Cat Boogie! Drink up, fellers! Drinks are on me!

_________________
Colonel Jason "Skeedaddle" Campbell
The Mahoning 4th Brigade
3rd Division
2nd Corp
AoT
"Let's fill up our canteens, boys. Some of us will be in hell before nightfall and we'll need the water"

Why young Field Lieutenant Campbell I just happen to have my electric banjo on hand. Damn fine story, I assume it is true?

_________________
General Cam McOmish

Brigade Commander
Alabama State Volunteers
Cleburne's Division
Hardee's Corps
(1/1/1)
Army of Tennessee
Confederate States of America

Only General Newell knows for sure, sir.

_________________
Colonel Jason "Skeedaddle" Campbell
The Mahoning 4th Brigade
3rd Division
2nd Corp
AoT
"Let's fill up our canteens, boys. Some of us will be in hell before nightfall and we'll need the water"

The two, fine Confederate soldiers know fer sure.

As does the Union scout who lost his britches.

As for the rest of tha Union lads. Well, let's jest say they ain't on speakin' terms with tha livin' no more.

And in case anyone is a wonderin', every Confederate soldier is a fine un. Unlike them Union soldiers, thar ain't no bad apples in tha Confederate bunch.

_________________
Brigadier General Denny Holt
5th Bde, 2nd Div, II Corps
Army of Northern Virginia

General Holt,
I like to think of the Union as the crab apples of society.

_________________
Colonel Jason "Skeedaddle" Campbell
The Mahoning 4th Brigade
3rd Division
2nd Corp
AoT
"Let's fill up our canteens, boys. Some of us will be in hell before nightfall and we'll need the water"

An excellent story, Lt. Campbell!

Barkeep, a drink for young Campbell here. Put it on my tab!

_________________
General 'Dee Dubya' Mallory
Chief of the Armies, CSA

That is most gracious of you, sir. Ah. My mentor. It's nice to share a drink with you, sir, after marshalling our troops near Manassas. With any bit of luck and your kind and gracious direction, we will soon see the starch come off their britches in clouds as they high tail it out of there!!!!!!

* uncorks a bottle of McOmish Distilleries "Richmond Harlot #8" and pours two glasses full *

Here's to you, sir, this good Army, and our coming victory over this war of Northern Aggression.

* drains his glass...coughs...sputters...and finally regains his composure *

Wow! Bit of kick in that one! Now we know what happened to harlots 1 through 7!!!!!

Drink up, sir. The bottle is young.

_________________
Colonel Jason "Skeedaddle" Campbell
The Mahoning 4th Brigade
3rd Division
2nd Corp
AoT
"Let's fill up our canteens, boys. Some of us will be in hell before nightfall and we'll need the water"

"Harlots 1 through 7"? :O So THAT's what happened to Lulu!

Lulu was the 'barmaid' at the Chickasaw Bayou Saloon many years ago. I hadn't seen or heard of her since my return to active duty and I wondered what had happened to the little lady ... er, I mean, to Lulu. (Anyone who knew Lulu remembers that neither the words "little" nor "lady" would apply to her in any shape, form, or fashion. In fact, she may have actually BEEN "harlots 1 through 7"! )

_________________
General 'Dee Dubya' Mallory
Chief of the Armies, CSA