It was close to noon, when the pickets of General Pinkham's army observed two riders clothed in blue approaching. “I don't feel like fightin' tiday,Seth. Jus shoot close enough to scare 'em away. Seth raised his musket and fired a shot in the direction of the riders who were fairly close now. Immediately the riders reined in their horses and the two CSA pickets could see one of them waving a white flag vigorously. “Looks like they want to surrender, Seth. You must have come pretty close. Let 'em come up” Seth waved them up and soon the two riders were facing the pickets. “Thanks for missing, soldier, we have come to see General Pinkham on some vital business. I am General Ringbloom of the Army of the Shenandoah and this here is my Chief of Staff, Major General Olinsky. Could you direct us to his headquarters?” “Well now General, sir, I don't rightly know where his headquarters is, but I can take you to his tent.” “ That will do just fine, soldier. If you please.” “Its Sargeant Hovey, General, if you don't mind. And just follow Seth here and he will take to the General. Soon they were in front of a white tent with guards at the entrance. Seth whispered to one of the guards who then motioned him in. Seth went in and found General Pinkham at his campaign desk. “Private, what in tarnation are you bothering me about? I'm having my mid-morning read and don't like to be disturbed. What is it?” “Sir, there are two blue-belly Generals outside to see you. They say its vital business.” “They do, do they? We'll see about that. It better be good, I'm right in the middle of a good chapter. Let them in!” The two generals entered the tent and approached General Pinkham at his desk. General Ringbloom immediately spied the book, now closed, on the table,”How to fight a war for Dummies”. “General Pinkham, thank you for receiving us. We will be brief and to the point. I am General Ringbloom of the Army of the Shenandoah and this is Major General Olinksy, my Chief of Staff. But first may I suggest some additional reading. I have Clauswitz' 'On War” and Sun Tzu's 'The Art of War” in my library at camp. I will be glad to lend them to you.” “General, there is no need to lend them as I will probably take them from you. Now what is your business that is so vital?" “General Pinkham, we have come to demand the cessation of vile, venial and vicious insults,insinuations and inuendos your men have been spreading about our Army in this Theater of War. We have had enough and demand satisfaction. Please apologize and promise never to bad-mouth us again.” “General Ringbloom, I know the truth sometimes hurts but I'm not apologizing to anyone. And I don't want any of your stupid foreign books! You come into my camp uninvited, into my tent and insult me with your demand! Now leave!” “We'll leave alright, Genral Pinkham, but we'll be back to Alabama, to stay. Before we leave, the formalities. General Olinsky, the gloves, please.” General Olinsky opens his briefcase and deftly removes a pair of discolored kid gloves and hands them to General Ringbloom. “No,no, not these Gregor. They got soiled from General Stiles beard. I need another pair.” Olinsky quickly produces another pair of dubious status. “General Olinsky, these are even in worse shape! General Garner rode over these with his horse! You can do better. I know there is a clean white pair in your case somewhere.” Sure enough, Olinsky pulls out of his hat, so to speak, a pair of spanking white kid gloves, suitable for bitch-slapping. General Ringbloom grabs the gloves, strides over to General Pinkham and with a quick,”slap,slap”, one for each of Pinkham's cheeks,he throws the gloves down on the bare earthen floor. “Pick these up if you dare! And meet us on the field of battle for the Longstreet-Sheridan Cup!” General Pinkham looks up at General Ringbloom with reddened cheeks and says: “You go through a lot of gloves, don't you.”
_________________ Gen. Drex Ringbloom, AotS ,Commanding
Last edited by Drex on Thu Mar 07, 2013 1:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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