Colonial Campaigns Club (CCC)

During my years as the head of the Northern Dept/Grand Army, I ended most of my emails with "Confusion to the Lobsters!"

Now, I imagine that many have the mistaken belief that I called them "Lobsters" because of their cheery red coats. Most certainly not true. It is even less true that it was a reference to how well they go with melted butter (you'd have to ask some of our less civilized tribal neighbors about that).

No, it is because the Lobster is a creature that is without a spine! Yes, that's right, they have no backbone whatsoever. It's sad that nature didn't make them a nice, seemly shade of yellow, but even so, we now know the true nature of our British oppressors.

The French may be addicted to their own talcum, and the Indians are off trying the new loincloth styles for the year, but none of them will ever be Lobsters!


Confusion to the Lobsters!